Digital Reflections

Running like a mother.....

Nope, this isnt in reference to the crazy chaotic life that engulfs us from sun up to sun down tending to the needs of our kids, or in my case prepping everything for the first day of school.  This actually has to do about RUNNING.  Specifically, about me and running.  Two things that have not always been strangers, but definately two things that happily coexisted on alternate universes for the last dozen years.  I read a book here a few weeks ago, and to say it has left an impact on me would be the understatement of the century.  I have always devoured books, been a learner at heart, but this book I was so engulfed with, so engaged and inspired beyond measure.  In the past 5 years most books lining my bookshelves have been about teaching, kids, parenting... lets see looking up here:

Raising Repsectful Children, Bringing Up Boys, Living SImply with Children, Magical Child, Raising a Reader, etc... get the point... That is my focus, has been my focus... and that has its place and is well BUT.. I ordered  A Weekend to Change Your Life  from Amazon when I needed to add one more thing to get free shipping (cuz who doesnt love free shipping)... I usually keep my TO READ's in my cart at AMAZON just for this purpose... and it worked out that I was ready for this read.

I began running earlier this year, and had to put it on hold for health reasons, but missed it, then fell back into the, oh well, when I can again I 'might' run some more, stage.. you know when you start thinking well, maybe I didnt love it as much as I remember.  The "maybe the heat, the sweating, the being sore wasnt really worth it" self talk took over.  But I read and read and read this book again, its hard to describe the various aspects of the words in this book that spoke to the core of my being, but I think so many things were occuring simultaniously to get me to this point, so I was open to the words. Sitting at the park reading the book while the kids were playing on the playground, I felt free, and I wanted to RUN.  Right then and there I found myself.  But what gets better is during the run, I found more of me, and each time I run, I find more...

and then comes Run Like A Mother the book and  Run Like A Mother, The Blog ...

and wouldnt you know I found a bit more of ME.  Each time I read a story I am connected to the writer in some aspect of their journey, as it mirrors some aspect of mine.  I am soooo glad Cathy Zielske is sharing her journey, because that is how I found RLAM.  And "Run like a Mother, Sting Like a Bee, and Live with Purpose" is my new moto. 

For the past 12 years since my first failed pregnancy I was living with a mother mindset, one that was skewed incorrectly, seeing things through glasses that were not mine to wear.  Not a slave to the position of being a mom, but neglecting who I was because of the role I took on as a mom.  4 healthy beautiful kids a few more failed pregnancies later, I didnt know ME anymore.  Dont get me wrong, my kids -man do I love each one of them, good days, bad hair days, crazy attitude days, I love their snuggles, and their growing and curiosity, I love their personalities developing and the people they are becomming. I love that they are a gift to me, LOVE LOVE LOVE... them.. but in the process I quit loving ME.. It was about THEM 24-7 and that is so easy to do. So you can see how recently, it being ABOUT ME, is a PRETTY HUGE deal. 

Balancing life is more than tricky at best, and doing it well, I tip my hat to the moms that do it ALL...  I try to do the best I can with what I have, and in that I try to open up every possible opportunity to my kids to help them develop into individuals that live with passion and purpose, serving the greater good, but also being satisfied in themselves.  But I can only give them as much of me as I am able to KNOW about ME.  I cant give them happiness if I am not happy, I cant give them empathy if I am not empathetic, I cant give them a sense of belonging if I feel out of place.  So what justice am I doing by living in the humdrum of daily life if I am not whole full and complete enough to give them ALL of who I am - who I was created to BE.

Everyone has layers, masks, roles they play in life but the one with the most importance is the one we are when there are no eyes watching, when we are alone, when there is no task to be tended to, no dishes to be done, no meetings, no PTO, no frustrations, no bad dreams to sing away.... and when you RUN, when I RUN -its just THAT its just ME!  Its the real, raw, revelation of who I am and who I have become and what I want to be. 

so many possibilities...

Back to school: get organized

There is so much to do, so many lists running in my mind, on paper or on our calendar.  It's a fun but very busy time of year. Being organized is key in lowering the stress level that comes with getting 4 kids prepared for school.  I will share some ideas and better yet, some links for some great ideas to help you start the school year off on the right foot.

1.  Get a good calendar system: whether its a traditional dry erase calendar or some of these cool chalkboard wallies... cork boards are also good to help keep everything that comes from school in one place.  Last year I finally got in the habit of reading the school flyer with my dry erase pen in hand, and transfering dates, deadlines, and events right onto our main board and then tossing those papers in our recycle bin.  It kept down on a lot of clutter.

    

2.  Find a place for everything...

Whats not to love about Pottery Barn Kids...

Big units like this all the way to desk top organization is a big plus when trying to keep several kids "stuff" in one place, easy to find and get to and easy to put away and maintain some sense of order in the world.

 

Organize.com offers great products, and I love seeing sets that come together.

 

*  Create an inbox/outbox system for each child.  It has helped us when needing to locate papers that are due or money that needs turned in for school pictures.  Their school papers come in and go in the "in box", when I get a chance to go through them I can sign them, attach a check or whatever needs done and then move them over to the "out box".  It is a time saver in the evening as we pack backpacks.  This could simply be a folder for each child, a magazine holder or a nice stationary box if you have the room for several of them. 

 

*  Have a designated "drop" zone.  If your house gets as crazy at 3:45 as mine does, this can be a huge relief.  We have a drop zone right by the kitchen, the kids can just drop all their backpacks, lunch boxes, kick off shoes, jackets it doesnt matter.  After snack we then collect the things that need gone through, each child is responsible for clearing out their lunch boxes and we usually sit in the kitchen to go through their backpacks before they head to the table for homework. I realized quickly with 4 kids each, exhausted from school and needing some unwinding time that it is best that I am not barking reminders as to where to put everything right off the bat, rather I would just enjoy the time to hear their stories from the day and allow us all to settle into our evening routine.

 

3. Start labeling...

One of my favorite finds came via  Cool Mom Picks. My kids could already tell you how much I love my lable making machines and tools around here.  It is always fun to create that little personalized touch for their items.  But Mabels Labels takes it to a whole new level, and I just love these great products.

 

4. Laying it all out...

Probably one of our biggest back to school struggles is the whole "what to wear" challenge.  We nipped this in the bud last year.  A simple closet organizer like this and each of the kids had 5 days worth of clothes picked out on Sunday night.  We left nothing out, in each compartment is the outfit (unless it is still on the hanger in which case it is next to the closet organizer) socks, shoes, hair accesories, etc.  It takes some time to sit in each child's bedroom on Sunday night and pick out clothes for the week, but the times that I let it slide proved to me how invaluable this aspect of being organized can be.

 

5.  Lunch to go...

With our using a bento style lunch plan this year that could be an aweful lot of prep time.  What we came up with was this great chart I spotted over at MarthaStewart.com.  This is going to be especially helpful with my little kindergartener and first grader.  Once I get our all laminated and up on the fridge I will get a photo to show how we changed it up for our menu plan.  We will have about 6 items in each lunch -with smaller portions and emphasis on percentage of protein (a vegetarian eater among them) and fruit/veggies and grains.  We get a lot of inspiration from this site... Whats for lunch at our house. Last year we quit purchasing ziplocs and sewed our own washable and reusable napkins and we will continue to do that this year.

 

Check out Martha's whole back to school selection here.  Martha Stewart: Back to School

Check out Cool Moms Picks back to school selection here. Cool Mom Picks: Back to School

Check out Family Fun's back to school selection here.  Family Fun: Back to School   

 

more again soon....

 

 

Gearing up for School..

Can you believe that is my header this time.. gearing up for school ALREADY!  I know if summer flew by for me, it did for the kids as well.  And as long as it was memorable and filled with learning opportunities it was a success.  But now that I have 4 munchkins heading off to school my mind has definately changed gears so we can be as prepared as possible for that first bell come later this month. 

So, what are we doing to prepare:

Making Our Fall Calendar.

Cleaning out Closets -donating clothes, backpacks, and school supplies.

Re-establishing routines, bedtime and reading time, bath schedules and chores.

Getting backpacks set up, checking the school supply list and the sale ads.

Visitng the school playground and going over ground rules and helping our kindergartener feel comfortbale in his new surroundings.

Taste testing lunch ideas, trying new recipes and planning menus.

Reviewing what we learned and continued to practice this summer, such as site words and math facts.

Re-organizing the game room to include more study spaces and a reading nook.

And no blog post would be complete without some links - todays topic: LUNCH OPTIONS for school.

I am in love with these eco friendly (BPA free) reusable snack pouches. I first learned of them from

Cool Mom Picks and if you check out the posting at Cool Mom Picks you will see a code good for 20% off your order. 

Itzy Ritzy Snack Pouches 

Laptop Lunches are another huge favorite.  This is the way I want to package my kids lunch, totally reusable, no waste lunches.  We switched from any type of juice containers or milk cartons last year as well as not purchasing zipper storage bags.  So we are well on our way to a waste free lunch.

Land of Nod Lunch Punches are making an exciting entry to our lunch routine this Fall. You can also check out the Lunch Punch website for more designs.

Also an option for resusable and kid friendly and BPA free are the EASY BENTO STYLE LUNCHBOXES.  These fall among the most affordable of the options.

Want some blog inspiration and some photos to stir your imagination check out these links:

Whats for lunch at our house

Lunch In A Box 

O Bento Lunch For Kids

and my favorite thing to check out is FLICKR - here is a link to the general search for kids bento.

Tomorrow's post: Organizing school supplies, school areas, and what to do with all the "things" that come home with your child during the school year.

Before I go I had to talk outloud for a minute, its how I process things best so bear with me and feel free to leave me some input.  Last year the Fall flew by in such a whirlwind that I rarely slept, caught my breath, or even blogged.  But that has changed because well, all 4 of my kids are heading off to school (though I will still have the joys of toddler fun a few days a week)... So I want to find my niche here in the blogasphere.. I continue to challenge my kids throughout the year with their school work, I dont think it is enough to send them off and expect someone else to train them up and teach them all they need to learn.  I also supliment their school lessons (and themes) with field trips and hands on learning that is for the most part being left out of the classroom these days.  But I am also venturing into the world of cooking more, from scratch, home canning, meal planning, natural, organic and vegan (when I can).  I came a cross a blog by way of a friend, literally two days before the Blog writer took it offline I was so inspired by GREENANDCRUNCHY blog and it disappeared.  One of the many things I loved about her blog were her posts using section plates for her kids lunch. I was so in love with the concept and with the imagery of it all.  So I have been on a hunt for stainless steel section plates for our snacks and weekend eating.  I cant wait to start sharing photos and recipes.  It is empowering to teach in all aspects of life, but being able to teach my children to grow what they eat and then understand the true nurishment of thier bodies and that it doesnt come from overly greasy 1000 calorie fast food meals is so rewarding to me personally.  We are also very crafty around here and like I mentioned in my last post we are already working on handmade Chrsitmas gifts, so there will be plenty of crafty ideas, shared resources and lts of links to places like FAMILY FUN, MARTHA STEWART and CRAFTY CROW, but also to the dozens of blogs I turn to to find a quick, fun, educational, or charming craft project.  I will also get the chance to try products and review them, read books and share my thoughts, it is getting fun.

All this to say, stay tuned the blog may be finished with BIG SUMMER FUN, but we arent done having FUN around here.  Thanks for taking the time to stop by and read about our journey, I would love to hear from you if there are things you would like to hear about or see.

Non parlo molto bene italiano.

It is true, I dont speak Italian very well.  But we had a blast discovering a new language today.   Below are some of the activities we completed today as we started out on our Italian adventure.  I had a friend email me today and asked WHY I did these "units" with my kids.  I know in the middle of her email she was not asking me this question with ill-intent, but while I was responding I kind of felt like I was justifying my summer plans, and I didnt like that.  I hope to simply offer my kids a chance to expand their horizons, to think outside the box, to step away from the computer and tv, to stir their imagination and foster their creativity.  Thats it and it may look different for each us when we do things with our kids.  My kids happen to enjoy our theme weeks during the summer, they are apart of every aspect of the planning phase and the execution phase.  We as a family enjoy learning and growing our minds to include other cultures, other countries, and new horizons, we hope you enjoy the journey we are on.

Today we looked at the globe and found Italy, identified surrounding countries and bodies of water.  We talked about the "boot" we were looking at and then we looked through the encylopedia and read about Italy and touched on some historical aspects of the country.  The kids then found the flag in the book and colored their own Italian flag.  (I guess we could have just turned on the World Cup, lol).

Here are a few finds on the computer that helped us with learning the sounds of the Italian language.

Fodors Italian Language Help

Children's Conversation Starters in Italian

 Here is a matching sheet we did as we practiced saying our colors in Italian today.. The kids cut the words out and then matched them, we played against each other in a race format to see who could properly identify and match their English color words with the Italian color words.

(note: the colors dont match right to left with the Italian/English words) 

At little explorers, you click on the letter and a great picture dictionary page appears

with words in English and Italian...

Little Explorers

Here are some cute printables for the days of the week in Italian.

Days of Week Poster

 

One of the things we are is flexible and today we had a fun surprise visitor and spent a long time catching up with her, so we didnt get to as many things as we had on our chart, and that was (is) fine.  What we did, was fun - it included all the kids (ages 5-10).  I was so happy to see how active the 5 year old was, too..tried so hard to sound out each new sound of this beautiful language, colored his little heart on on his flag...

 

We had fun making dinner tonight, fresh homeade garlic bread, pasta and a delicious new sauce we picked up from a specialty market straight from Italy... We usually make our pasta and pasta sauces, but when the kids saw this pasta and sauce and that it was from Italy (being shown during a cooking demonstration) there was no turning back, so I obliged and it was actually very good...

 

 

(just realized I didnt take pictures of the kids flags today - but really its a basic flag, lol you can imagine that there are 4 red, white and green colored pages here...)

 

In addition to our THEME weeks, we also have a "summer fun jar"  the kids all wrote down or told me a few things they would like to do over the course of the summer, so I then used the fabulous digital supplies at

Designerdigitals.com to create little note strips with each of the kids ideas.  These were then cut in strips, and rolled and tied with ribbon before placing in our summer fun jar. 

 

On Monday, we pull out one from our jar, and sometime during the next week, the kids are surprised with the treat that had been written down.  One fun thing we have added to our summer fun jar this summer is the aspect of serving.  I feel it is so important to teach our kids to serve the community in which they live..to help those in need..to be of service to others.. So on the back of each strip of paper is a service project, and it has to be completed before we can enjoy the activity on the front.  (For example, the kids chose Go Fishing and on the back it says pick up litter at the fishing pier)  So that is actually a service we get to complete while enjoying our family activity.  I would love to hear how you get your family involved in your neighborhoods and communities.  

 

To help you quickly find the supplies I used to make our summer fun jar, I am posting some links to the store at Designerdigitals below.  I have to say I love that I didnt have to run out to the store to buy stickers, papers, etc.  Having digital supplies right here on my laptop makes instant crafting and projects so much easier to tackle these days.

 

Pattie Knox: Felt Board Friends In the Woods

Pattie Knox: Felt Board Friends Pajama Party

Mindy Teressawa: Sweet and Salty Stickers

Mindy Teressawa: Sun Shiny Day Stickers

Katie Pertiet: Little Shores Elements 

50 fun fall activities

 There is so much to enjoy about Fall and so many opportunities to create memories, traditions and just have good time.  Here is our list for this Fall, given the number of days from Oct. 1st to Thanksgiving, this is pretty much an activity a day type of list.  Hope you enjoy the list, and check back every so often for more details on the ideas, and photos of our projects.

1.  Take a Nature Walk

2.  Collect leaves, identify, sort and do leaf rubbings.

3.  Make a Fall Tree Centerpiece (crafty crow link to show details).

4.  Make Corn Prints or Apple Prints 

5.  Use items from your nature walk, to create a Fall sensory board/Nature Table.

6.  Visit an Apple Orchard

7.  Collect variety of apples and use for matching, sorting, addition, subtraction.

8.  Make Applesauce from scratch.

9.  Bake apple pies, or apple cakes and deliver to somone who is under the weather, or in need of some cheering up.

10.  Make homeade apple cider, package up dry ingredients for gifts for the mail man, librarian, teachers.

11.  Make and go fly a kite.

12.  Make a pinecone votive.

13.  Enjoy the Outdoors.

14.  Go to a Fall Festival.

15.  Go to a Pumpkin Patch. 

16.  Host a Pumkin Carving Party.

17.  Paint Pumpkin faces.

18.  Roast Pumpkin Seeds.

19.  Bake pumpkin pies.

20. Create Pet Rock Pumpkins.

21. Make playdough apples and pumpkins.

22. Make and give away these cute little Apple Yarn Favors.

23. Plan a neighborhood EyeSpy with a list of Fall items.

24. Make a Paint Stick Scarecrow.

25. Go to a farmers market.

26.   Visit a petting zoo.

27.  Knit scarves or hats for a Fall/Winter Clothing Drive.

28.  Participate in a Canned food drive.

29.  Enjoy a Fall Picnic.

30.  Make hand and feet print art and tuck away after the Fall season each year.

31.  Host a Halloween party, complete with costume contest, bobbing for apples, and a cake walk.

32.  Host story time at your house, and pull out your favorite Fall books.

33.  Make your own marshmallows for roasting over a campfire.

34.  Make your own TickTac Toe  and use all sorts of manipulatives found on your various fall outings, from acorns to small leaves, stones, or minipumpkins from the craft store.

35.  Rake a neighbors yard.

36.  Make your own paper.

37. Dry fruit for snack time.

38.  Make 4 season posters (use a painted hand and wrist for the tree and let the kids paint the scenery and tree according to the season.)

39.  Create a countdown to Thanksgiving calendar.

40.  Make A Thankgiving Tree, and each day have the kids write one thing they are thankful for and on Thanksgiving day, everyone reads the tree and is reminded of all their blessings.

41.  Make a corn husk doll.

42.  Make a plaque with your fall finds.  Ordinary life magic  (a great blog find)

43. Visit a planetarium, read about the seasons and weather patterns and space.

44.  Take a photowalk around your neighborhood and let the kids take photos of the seasonal changes and then create a collage with their photos.

45.  Create beautiful Fall Mixed Media pieces (i love these ideas and this blog is a family favorite).

46.  Visit the library and check out Fall themed books.

47.  Camp Out in your backyard.

48.  Make cute button/candy corn napkin rings.

49.  Can some jam, veggies, sauces to store up for the winter (introduce your children to hibernation and get some books on animal habitats.)

50.  Do one thing each day that relates to the season, bake bread, take a walk, enjoy the crisp air, read a Fall related book, everyday is an opportunity to create memories, spark creativity and enjoy the treasure that life is.

Sundays this Summer turn Fridays this Fall

  

With school starting on Monday things have switched gears around here.  Lots of preparing but hopefully some final summer fun with a week of stay-cation activities to enjoy as we get ready for the upcoming school year.

Plan your staycation

Some things on our list are, going bowling, hitting the drive-in movie, end of summer bar-b-que complete with smores and a chance to pull out the telescope again, finish up some puzzles, make one last summer trip to library (although we continue to go year round), we will head out on one more hike and picnic, have a late night movie night with popcorn and ice cream sundaes. 

We have lots of organizing projects going on in preparation for the start of school. Here is a great site with lots of ideas on how to start the year ahead of the game when it comes to being organized and ready to handle the back to school process, and all that comes with that.

Creative Organization: Back to school

One of the things we are doing around here is starting off with a system in place to tackle the onslaught of papers, assignements, and information we get on a weekly basis from school.  I decided to go with the Stockhold collection from The Container Store. I have a dedicated cabinet in the kitchen that will house a set of each of these in various colors (one for each child obviously).

  The stand up magazine holders will house the daily folders and homework assignements.  The flats will house short term homework assignments, and the large flats will house the projects I am keeping to add to their memory chest. (Each of the children have a memory chest and each year we add birthday cards, photos, favorite items, (I add magazines, etc. to preserve current events from their childhood - ie. the Time/USA today re: Michael Jackson) and we add a collection of their school work. It is a great reflection of their childhood and a little time capsule of sorts.

I really love the idea of this lazy susan supply center WRITE START lazy susan. I plan to organize their basic supplies in a way similar to this one, too.  Making sure to start off the year with everything in a place and a place for everything will make the daily homework and the projects they will tackle that much easier. (Meander around Write Start blog - it is FULL of great ideas for your children and the learning process).

In our gameroom we have a wall dedicated to the kids art projects. And I love the idea at Ohdeedoh (wire handing system) using the Dignitet system from Ikea.  But we got our hanging system from  Land of Nod. 

These make for great wall art. And the more I look at the one on the Ohdeeoh Blog, the more I like that Ikea one, it adds depth for the handing items which I like. We love Land of Nod, and these systems are usually seasonal.  So when we switch out our art, we can also switch out the clips, which is a nice addition.

Another way we are preparing for school is planning out their lunches.  We decided last year to be as GREEN as possible with lunches and stopped purchasing ziplocs and other throw away plastics.  So we have gone to LAPTOP lunchboxes, and I love the whole concept.  It is based on the Bento Box style lunches so popular in Japan.  This option allows more freedom with food choices and opens up a lot healthier menu for the kids.  And, they are actually excited about this new lunch concept as it is more inline with how we eat on a regular basis.  Here is a link directly to a photogroup at FLICKR dedicated to laptop lunches (and this is where I get a lot of the ideas on what to include in my kido's lunch.

   

   

Bakerella apple mini pops.  A definate must make for the beginning of school.  We are hoping to have a back to school social for the kids and their friends in the next 2 weeks, and I will be attempting to make these. I dont think there is anything cuter that just says back to school like these pops do.

Another area with food, is in snacks for afterschool. My kids are not terribly picky, but they do like sweet things and I would just rather save those sweet treats, for just that - a treat! A friend posted about a smoothie on FB yesterday and it made me start thinking through how good of an idea that was. So here are a few links with some ideas for you to try with your kidos. Chicago Smoothie, kids-simple-smoothies.

 

 We like to mix up snack time making it fun, giving them almost playful attempts at snacking, they do like veggies with dip, especially hummus, they enjoy fruits and cheese as well.  I think its key to make snack as stress resistent as possible both in the preparation and in the eating.  In my case my kids will be winding down from the long school day and I will be gearing up for the long haul of dinner, study and bed routines. So its definately time to make like simpler and we are all about SIMPLE around here these days.

Speaking of eating.. I hope to make my weekly postings to include dinner ideas - and here are the first of those links.... As a mom of 4 its hectic around here as it is, so meal planning is a very important part of my role, its just got to be done to make dinner time go smoothly, and to tackle some of the stress that comes along with it. Ultimate Recipe Swap (speed cooking) plum pudding (zucchini boats) tasty kitchen (pioneer womans site).

Since summer is over our Sunday's this Summer posts will become Friday's this Fall. Keep posted next week to see what that means.....

Childhood...it's never too late.

Looking through the Heritage Gallery at designerdigitals.com this week, I really began thinking about childhood.  Mine, my kids - childhood in general... I always get nostalgic, its just the way I am.  Days of sparklers and red jello on 4th of July, long summer days playing in the sprinkler and making mud pies, gorgeous Fall days with apple picking, and pumpkin carving, the excitement and magic of Christmas.  Season in and season out, school days, craft projects, adventures and imagination - its all there the goodness of life.  I love the original Fisher Price toys and have been excited to see the replicas they are making to celebrate their anniversary.  But I miss the originals - so uncomplicated, no batteries needed, kind of toys.  Look at this website and see if you recall some of these popular toys from your childhood.  At any given point on EBAY a vintage Fisher price search can grant you these results:

I am amazed at how my kids can sit with a toy for less than 5 minutes and declare their boredom, and if I remember correctly I am certain I did the same thing a time or two.  But I remember so many times playing and being so engrosed in my imagination and in the playing aspect that time would fly by.  My kids are constatnly under foot while I make dinner, or try to get household chores done, with the NEED for food. My kids dont starve (at all) but the constant nagging for a snack shows me the level of their boredom.  If we are outside playing and creating, we can be there for hours and they never once mention they are hungry, but if we are stuck inside (perhaps on a rainy day) I never hear the end of it.  Eating out of boredom is a bad habit to get in, and we have already nipped that in the bud.  But it continues to draw on me the whole idea of how much life has changed for children these days, and it actually saddens me.  They remain so overly stimulated that they quit relying on their own imaginations.  (I know I am just that way).  But I remember playing in the woods next to my aunts house building forts and breaking limbs off trees, climbing and digging.  I remember using boxes and sheets for the never ending pirate escapade, I remember dawning chaps and riding that stick horse chasing robbers and playing lone ranger.  I remember Saturday mornings with little house on the prairie and heidi.  So much of looking forward is looking back.  The whole climactic problem with society in general (according to this 30 something SAHM) is the WANT for more, bigger, better, grander, being the best, top dog, numero uno.  Quite honestly, I am okay with peanut butter and jelly, and nice house in the burbs, and some vintage fisher price toys and pre1980 cartoons.

When did life go and get so complicated anyway?  My 7yr old began explaining to her sister in the car yesterday the difference between needs and wants.  I just listened to this whole conversation evolve about the necessity of having food, clothing, and shelter, and how toys are wants, and fancy cars are wants.  I am not sure how much the 5yr old truly comprehended but what I knew for sure is that the 9 yr old was listening, and occasionally interjecting his opinion, which surprised me (since he is the direct result of years of doing this parenting thing all wrong).  He agreed about the nature of want vs. need but in his terms, he needs a baseball bat to play little league, he just doesnt NEED the $40.00 bat he picked out, when the $15.00 one mom picked out would work just fine.  So I know its being absorbed little by little. And if they can start thinking this way and living this way, imagine what a difference they are going to make as parents. Those thoughts never leave me as a parent, the whole concept that I am not raising children I am raising adults.  This childhood I am creating for them and with them, determines who they are as adults and that isnt taken lightly.  So if we break the mold of greed and self promotion by stopping long enough to consider the impact it is having on the people we are responsible for raising, so be it.  I will be happier for it and they will be better off for it.  I have always said I wanted ot be June Cleaver, and I think our world could use a few more of her around these days.

Parenting isnt always fun and games

 It is one of those weeks, and I dispise weeks like this so very much.  I am running on little energy being sick, and when I am normally not tired I am now overtired.  And today while I sat on the floor building legos and defending the bridge from the calamity of a 5 year old, I just wanted to go to bed. When I heard the overly loud and today seemingly annoying lawnmowers out the window I just wanted to go to bed.  When the little demanding voices began screetching at ear pearcing levels over lunch, and hotwheels and babydolls, I just wanted to go to bed. Alas, this is just part of the everyday living that is tolerated because moments away from any of these given moments, are hugs, smiles, kisses, small accomplishments, joyous milestones... So we carry on. BUT,in my case (since I know I am the only one who feels this way) when I am run down, when I am rushed, when I am off kilter my volume rises, my patience decreases and you better watch your p&q's.  Hmmmmm. that mixed in a house of 4 rambunctious sometimes defiant children - well its an oil and vinegar combination.  So what's a 30 something mom of 4 to do.  In this day and age, its reading blogs, talking to friends, lots of times spent quietly asking for peace, patience and understanding.  And then I read this post:

10 tips for being a more lighthearted parent on The Happiness Project Blog.

#1. I do, in fact its something I love to do.

#2. Seriously, I dont do - at all, but I love the change of perspective.  I bought a kitchen radio a month or so ago, but couldnt get it installed uner the cabinetry just right and returned it - now I wish I had -because it was with this very thought that I had gotten it.  I remember morning cartoons and dont mind if the kids are ready for school if the tv comes on.  But always (as in ALWAYS) it becomes a point of contention when its time to rush out for the day.  Music on the other hand - we will be giving that a go!

#3.  Oh man, suddenly my eyes are blurry I cant make out what this one says, we will just have to skip over it. (yep, my biggest downfall now that I have given up coffee)

#4.  This will take some work, but I have always wanted to do it - I think it ties into the elusive #3 though.

#5.  Done and loving it! One of the best parenting decisions we have made -ever!

#6  Paradigm shift and I know something that needs to be in the top 3 of my parenting priorities right now.  I can be a negative killjoy constantly and partly because 4 questions can result in 4 resounding no's instantaneously.. must work hard on this one.

#7.  Well, now  see this one just makes me feel better - we are on the sunny road here. I so do this... so live for these moments - have I shared our everyday plate.. Oh I think I have a pic.

#8.  Work in progress - recently printed out our rules - very simply stated - easily understood.

        HOUSE RULES:

                1. respect each other and our things

                2. no throwing a fit, if you throw a fit, go to your room til you feel better

                3. if you take it out you put it up

                4.  use a pleasant voice and speak nicely

                5.  be a listener

(these were taken in part from another blog post in my many blog surfing ventures - must find the reference point for you soon)

9.  Ouch, the bee stings - and when it does it hurts...

10.  *Sigh*

So how did you do on that list... I obviously have my work cut out for me, but I am the kind of person, kind of mom, that i want to see these lists, I want to be reminded of my weaknesses, I need to be. So I can get better, so I can make better choices, be a better example, be a better more effective parent. 

One of the blog responces after this post at The Happiness Project referenced a website. And I have to say, I spent a little time over there looking at it.  I had not heard of it before and it is Handipoints. An online chore chart and community.  What I have liked is the ability to customize each child's chore chart, the fact that the computer keeps up with their points/progress/demerits - etc. And that there is an online community for the kids similar to BuildABearVille which my older two kids enjoy.  Here is a screen shot of the chore chart.  You can choose from a wide variety of their chores, over 800 actually and you can create your own.  I also like that I have access to the overall page showing each of the 4 kids charts, showing their progress at any given point. We can enter their chores together, gives us a chance to talk about being responsible, making sure they understand what is required of them, and reinforcing their positive growth as they meet the goals we set.

Here is a screenshot of the loading page:

You can see here where you can choose from different tasks and goals for each child.  The whole feel is friendly and positive. The next screenshot is of the parents page, where at any point, I can check on all of their charts at one time, I can monitor, change, add or delete chores, tasks, rewards, incentives, etc.

I am really excited to get going with this. I have at times had chore charts in various rooms of the house, and thought they may have been effective for a time, the whole process deteriorated quickly, and it ended up being one more thing to have as a hastle between us. I think incorporating some computer time for them, and an ease of keeping up with each childs tasks for me a win-win deal.  So check it out.

So, although parenting is hard and no its not always fun and games it is rewarding beyond measure.  And I will take the lows with the highs and the speed bumps with the straightaways anytime.  I am just one happy mama for being on this road at all.  Its a great journey, indeed.

Oh, here is a bad - picture of our celebrate plate. Its a square plate I painted at one of those ceramics places. On the back it has the kids names and says today we celebrate YOU. Aside from using it for birthdays, we use it for everyday celebrations, most recently was when my son came home with a perfect score on his state academic test.  I was beyond proud of that accomplishment and he got the celebrate plate at the dinner table this night, and one of the rules of the celebrate plate is that after the blessing, we go around the table and each person talks about the accomplishment, or celebration, or birthday - its a time for the person with the plate to be built up, celebrated and usually by the time all 5 of us have said something nice about the other person, their face is beaming in pride and joy.  It's hard to get 4 kids of varying ages to say nice things to their siblings - and our celebrate plate, sure makes it happen easily.  Our 7 yr. old dd told her big brother, "you are the smartest kid I know" followed by the little guy in our family telling him, "you are too cool", lol.  So they may not get the reason for the celebration always, but to my 9 year old - it didnt matter. He felt it - he heard it - he knew it - in that moment we were proud of him and celebrating him - thats the purpose of the celebrate plate!

Pampered Chef has one that you can buy here.  But I like that ours is homeade.

What value does it add?

I dont know what is the matter with me, its 8:30pm I am in Target to grab a little gift for my youngest son to open in the morning for his 4th birthday (sniff sniff...).  But, I walk around aimlessly in each toy aisle, in the craft aisle, down the spring goodies isle... I couldnt pinpoint a gift - he doesnt have that ONE thing that he loves (except for Incredibles which thank you Disney you cant buy anymore)... Everything was just STUFF - more and more STUFF - I literally stopped and felt the store spinning like I were in a movie having a kind of out of body thing going on (though I wasnt, lol)... but I was surrounded by all these toys and plain as day I asked myself what value does this add to his life, I picked up some legos - we have thousands of legos, so what would more do -other than get piled into the bins that are already overflowing... I looked at a new bicycle, but he has a bicycle..... it just kept on with every single thing I saw, and over and over in my head I was being asked WHAT VALUE DOES THIS ADD TO HIS LIFE?...... now I am not crazy and going on some kick about not giving our kids gifts - geesh... but since Christmas we enacted a plan in our lives to not BUY our kids THINGS for no reason - as it is they get little goodies and treats here and there - for Valentines, Easter, etc and that is good enough - and just a few months into the year it is a treat to take the kids on errands - they do not ask for anything anymore - or beg or cry or throw fits over STUFF in the stores.... They were so excited to go to the Mall over Spring Break to use their gift certificates from Christmas at Build-A-Bear - they hadnt been to the Mall since Christmas to see Santa... and it was a quick trip - in and out. And I am wanting to be more creative with our time and activities so buying gifts that would get put in bins or buckets or played with once or twice seemed like an incredible waste.  I just felt bad, one for having that feeling and another for having that feeling (yes I know I said it twice)... Suddenly they announce the store closes in 15 min please gather your items and check out - I grabbed some hotwheels and on the way home stopped for balloons because I had forgotten everything else on my list at Target, and bought BOLT, he has wanted to see this movie, and I dont mind buying movies really, I guess. 

I was/am amazed at how this one sentence has affected me over the past few hours - past few months.  I want our lives to have value that goes beyond any monetary amount, I want the value to be out of rich experiences, family togetherness, holiday traditions, self taught creativity, gained knowledge.  I want our lives filled with family and friends and the times we gather and not the stuff that they got.  Of course I love to plan birthday parties and I love to find that perfect gift that a person will love - its my nature to give - but as a mom, its my nature to teach, too.  So, I wonder when you look around do you ask, what value does that add to my life?? What would you give up because you realize it doesnt add anything?? What would cause a major paradigm shift if you took that perspective and applied it??

I found this new blog. And just love the wealth of ideas it offers, and I love that they involve time together, and lots of creative energy. And I could meander around this blog  way too long.... They add value - they give me ideas, they give me reminders of days past, and hope for things to do with my family.